Before Our Eyes
by Phaser Lady
Summary: I'm trying my hand out at Gilmore Girls Fic. A vignette for the season finale, Luke's thoughts on I'm mulling.


**Before Our Eyes…**

Characters: Luke/Lorelai

Genre: Romance

Spoilers: "A House Is Not A Home"

Rating: G

* * *

"I'm….mulling."

Luke's life flashed before his eyes and his heart skipped a beat.

His mind flashed back to that evening in his apartment, discussing interviews and propositions over dinner. At first he had been honest, telling her not to go to the interview and that it wasn't worth it. But then he had caught himself, realizing that he should encourage her to reach for those far off dreams no matter what happened because, well, he loved her, simple as that. He loved the confident way she always strode into the dinner demanding coffee. He loved to see the blissful look on her face when she took that first golden sip. For years, he'd gotten up in the morning simply to see that gorgeous face and wondered if it might ever be his. Though he'd never admit it to her, he was constantly tweaking his coffee recipe, attuning it to her precise tastes.

He loved her shockingly blue eyes, the way they danced and sparkled when he engaged her in banter or when she was with Rory. He loved her at once self-centered and self-giving attitude, the way she interacted with the people in the town. Her tenacity, her boundless energy, her quirks and ticks, he loved each and every strength and flaw, down to the last perfectly painted toe nail and the odd lock of hair tucked behind her ear.

The thought of being without those things, of being without her, frightened him. It had taken years for him to get up the courage to kiss her like he did at the Dragonfly, and it had taken even more to do it again and not brush it off as an accident. He'd cherished every moment spent with her to the fullest, every bad movie, even those insufferable occasions where she begged him to go someplace fancy. He hated wearing ties, but for her, it wasn't quite so bad.

And then there was her parents' wedding. It wasn't even a real wedding! It was just an excuse for her parents to earn attention from their rich friends and to spend exorbitant amounts of money on what could have easily been a very simple ceremony. They were renewing their vows, not getting hitched all over again! To make matters worse, that Logan guy was hanging out with Rory. Luke could have easily beaten that punk to a finely ground pulp, and would have taken pleasure in doing so. Who the hell was he to go anywhere near Rory like that? Of course, Christopher was there (wouldn't be a party without him), trying to act the part of the protective father he had never been, nor had ever cared to be. When he said those things, that he and Lorelai belonged together, Luke had gotten very scared. He was suddenly bombarded with images of Christopher coming into the diner and sweeping Lorelai off her feet and carrying her off to a better life. What if she really was meant to be with him? What if he, Luke, was just another one of her flings? What if he was just another guy that she _almost_ married? He wasn't sure he could take the pain that losing her would cause.

So he had acted accordingly, letting his introverted habits take over. When she had pushed him too far and backed him into a corner, he had broken up with her. It wasn't that he hadn't loved her, not at all. Jeez, he would have preferred to cut off an arm or a leg than see the hurt in her face. But he had acted out of self preservation. He'd been hurt enough by Rachel, by Nicole, and he knew that Lorelai Gilmore had touched him more deeply than any other woman ever could.

He'd been miserable the entire time they'd been apart. He had spent the time stomping around the diner, barking at customers and biting off his employees' heads. Every time he had heard the bell ring, he looked up, hoping, but not really expecting, to see her there. But she never came. Emily had shown up and put all his fears to rest, and he hadn't wasted a moment before dashing to Lorelai's house and sweeping her into his arms.

Ever since, life had been wonderful. Her smile brightened his day as usual, and he'd occasionally receive that special, secret smile, meant just for him. He wasn't sure he could stand to lose it now that he had it.

But here he was losing all of that, and more. She was "mulling" over that job offer, the one that would take her away from him. He'd lose her completely, down to the last trivial house repair. How could he go on without her?

He remembered his argument with Kirk, the conniving twerp, and his fear that he wasn't good enough for Lorelai, that he couldn't get the Old Twickum House, couldn't get her. He remembered going to the Town Elders at that spa. He'd felt ridiculous standing in that sauna. Hell, meeting the Town Elders of Star's Hollow in a sauna was ridiculous. Then again, he didn't feel half as ridiculous as Kirk looked. The guy really needed to have a little physical activity every now and then. And who was that man, the one with the towel over his head, the one that the other Elders had so readily followed? If not for him, the Elders would have given Kirk the house.

Luke loved that house. When he was young, he and his father had often walked by to admire it. "They don't make houses like they used to," his father would say. The elder Danes admired the house, but his son fell in love with it. For a while in the eighth grade, he would walk by it every day on his way home from school. As he got older, his fantasies came to be based in that house. A home, a wife, a family, hell, maybe even a dog—not a foo-foo dog though, but a real dog, one you could play fetch with out on the back lawn. Lorelai quickly became a part of his fantasies too.

As much as he loved the Twickum House, it's beauty and grandeur was wasted without Lorelai. Luke was a simple and practical man and had no need for a house for himself. But Lorelai, she would need room. Room to pace, room to laugh, room to store her fifty pairs of shoes. And maybe, someday, room for kids with bright blue eyes, just like their mother.

"I'm…mulling."

Luke watched his hopes and dreams crumble before his eyes. He watched his and Lorelai's children disappear into nothingness, and he began to feel a familiar emptiness in his heart.

* * *

"I can help…."

As Lorelai watched Luke outline an outrageous plan to rescue Rory from her parents' house, her mind began to race. Luke was the only one she could trust, the only one on her side, the only one who believed, as she did, that Rory was making a huge mistake. He was acting as though Rory was his own daughter. Then again, now that she thought about it, he had been acting that way for a long time. Luke was the man in their lives that both she and Rory relied on. It was almost like he really was Rory's father, her husband……

Lorelai's life over the last few years flashed before her eyes.

Funny, in every memory she had since coming to Star's Hollow, Luke was somehow involved. Luke's Diner, with the most amazing coffee, the handyman around the Inn and her house, the momentous opening of the Dragonfly Inn and the chaos of that night. Over the last few months, memories of kissing Luke, of dating Luke, of being with Luke. The pain of losing him, and the joy of having him back again. The love she felt for him.

She knew she loved him. There was no doubt in her mind, and she was more certain of it than anything. As he continued to rant in the background, she came to a decision.

"Luke, will you marry me?"

Luke's fantasies sparked back to life, and the potential life they could share together flashed before his eyes.


End file.
